This may sound dumb but…

Ok so this is silly, I know everyone probably knows the answer to this but me…

I am kind of a slow learner can you…

So sorry to bother you…

I am sure you’re super busy so whenever you have a second that’s totally fine…

If not, no worries at all!

YOU GUYS. We have to stop saying this shit. I can’t count the number of DMs and emails I get with these words on it every single week, and I am not even an important industry figure [yet]…can we imagine what your reps or what a director is dealing with?! NO MORE.

I am not sure at what age we decided that when we give others power it makes them like us more, maybe somewhere around the time we were no longer assigned seats in class. But it has become a rampant habit that is reflected in adult professionals and I see it in actors so much. Sadly, more often in actresses specifically. It comes in the form of emails (oh god does it), text messages, meetings, and generally starts to permeate your day to day life and work.

I think this stems from a nice place, wanting to seem humble or very self aware, that kind of thing. But it sets a precedent that everyone else’s time is more important than yours. And while someone else may have a dollar value associated with their time or more people asking for it, it does not mean they are more valuable. When we make ourselves small like this we are bowing down to the people around us and telling them exactly how we expect to be treated: beneath others. And let me tell you, no one is this town made it because they were acting like a peasant. You are no ones peasant.

*Caveat: I am not saying you should be entitled, rude, or generally an asshole. You should have respect for others, their time, and resources. You should also know that a lot of people (like agents, casting, producers) are hard wired via the business to spend their time on things that make them money. And maybe this isn’t you just yet. But approaching people with a tiny tiny persona doesn’t give anyone the impression, “wow, this seems like a girl who will pay my mortgage one day”. Ya feel me?

So you have to find that respectful way to introduce/ask/generally inquire of someone who is, let’s just say it, making more money than you. Here are some ideas:

It is going to take some time for this to become your norm. I am still telling one of my best friends daily to stop apologizing to me for things. We have taught ourselves this overtime so the un-learning will also take time. And I know what you’re thinking, so just trust me, it does not make you sound rude. To be completely honest it makes emails a lot faster to read and that alone should win you a prize. But please make this your new rule: I will respect myself in all my words. The End.